The United Nations has decreed today that absolute location must now be used in all verbal and written directions worldwide in order for the younger generation to become more science savvy.

Charles Wong Edge of the UN space and science commission said, “The people of the world have long been using Relative Location, that is defining one place in relation to another place, for millennia further exasperating science scores when understood on a space-time continuum in conjunction with projected learning of aliens, if they exist.”

Mr. Mark Sasse, Head of the Geography Department of Dalat School completely supports this measure.  “I’ve been pushing for this for years,” said Sasse.  “We’ve become lazy in giving directions.  We’ve been telling people for years that our school is in Penang, on the cape of Tanjung Bungah beside Paradise Hotel.   Well, what if people don’t know where Penang is?  We’ve been leaning on other people’s location for long enough.  It’s time we learn where we live.”

A spokesperson for Dalat school said that in all future correspondence, they will no longer refer to Dalat as being in Penang or Tanjung Bungah.  In all future correspondence both verbal and written, Dalat employees will give their location as follows:  5 28’ 57.77’’N, 100, 17’33.01’’.

It is unclear how other world bodies plan to respond to this binding degree.  Hans Hans of the EU Science & Economic Commission said that, in general, his governing body supports the absolute location movement; however, his commission was unable to move forward on implementation because after giving his members the absolute location of their next meeting, only two people showed up thereby lacking quorum.