I had one of those annoying half awake/half asleep kind of nights. You know the kind: it feels like your eyelids are heavy as cast-iron skillets, but you have a constant stream of images from your life, frame by frame, constantly rewinding and replaying inside your brain’s DVR.
It’s as annoying as anything. You wake feeling completely un-refreshed with heavy sand bags weighing down your eyelids, as if the Sandman’s evil twin thought the irony was too clever to ignore.
These kind of nights are quite rare for me. I usually sleep undisturbed throughout the night, but it is easy to identify the culprit this time around – my new show. It hits the stage running for four shows starting in just two days. Wed is bump-in and set-up and Thursday is tech rehearsal, dress rehearsal, and our first performance. Yikes! No wonder I feel stressed.
What I found to be particularly annoying about last night’s sleeplessness was the meaningless way I keep myself awake. There were several benign images related to my drama that kept replaying themselves over and over and over again. “OK, Mark, I saw them the first time. Why must we relive them again?” But my subconscious ignored all logic and kept repeating the scene again and again. It wasn’t even interesting. “Why am I doing this to myself?” I know not. I just did.
So as a way of trying to make myself believe that last night was not a complete waste of time, let me come up with three reasons why sleepless nights are a good thing.
Number 1: Sleepless nights are a good thing because it means that my life is not boring. If I had a boring life when work and home would never overlap, then I would sleep soundly without a care in the world. Sleepless nights must be a sign of doing something important. Important people lose a lot of sleep. I lost sleep. I must be becoming important. I’m awesome.
Number 2: Sleepless nights are a good thing because they allow me to meditate on stupid benign images which mean nothing. That shows me that the things that keep me awake are not important. Therefore, I am not an important person, which means I should be able to sleep like a baby. Excellent. I look forward to tonight.
Number 3: Since I am important, or I may not be important, sleepless nights are a good thing because they allow me to ponder things of philosophy and being or other things like lack of sleep or bags under one’s eyes. They also allow me to fill an empty blog with empty words, and what could be better than that? We all know that content is king.
So as I ponder the night ahead of me, I really hope I’m not important.