My Novel is Finished. I Hate This Next Part.

I finished the third revision of my new novel, “Which Half David.” It hasn’t gone through the final editing process yet, so it technically isn’t done, done, as in done, complete, not going to touch it again.

But it is finished as in I need to get some insight into what I have here. Yes, that means one thing: beta readers.

Beta readers also means another obvious thing: I have to send them my book and they are actually going to be reading those words.

That fact sends shivers through me because I literally have NO idea what I have in this novel. I am much conflicted over it. It’s a novel I felt compelled to right. Might be the most open and honest work I’ve ever written, but I have no idea if anyone else in the world will find it even remotely interesting.

It could be a snooze-fest! I hate boring books and never want to write one, but I’ve also come to realize that I have no idea what is boring to other people. I know what’s boring to me. That’s easy. But others? I have no clue.

I’ve had some bad reviews before, but generally, I’ve been very pleased with how my audience has received my works. But every artist has a mis-step or stumble along the way, right? Is this my stumble? Or my flailing fall off the cliff?  What if this book just isn’t very good?

I hate having these ridiculous conversations with myself. It does help to write about them. I guess that’s why I took up blogging because it’s a way to talk to myself about my inner writing struggles – which are tremendous, by the way.

Okay, it’s a simple point. If I want to know what others think, I have to send it to them, right? There is no other way, correct?

No one else in the world has ever read the words of my new novel yet. That’s a beautiful thing in one sense. It’s purely me. It’s as pure as it gets.

But I guess it’s time to contaminate it with the thoughts of others. After all, I can’t make a book sale of blank pages. I need to fill them. I did. So now it’s time to release them and forget about it.

Okay. I’m glad we had this talk. Beta readers, your emails are coming to see if you want to check out my latest. Thanks in advance, even if you hate it.


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