I almost broke my neck by doing something nice

Clearly being thoughtful and nice is over-rated.

Here’s proof.

I secretly went to get two sketches of the city of Malacca framed for my wife. We bought the beautiful sketches more than a year and a half ago and both had forgot about them. I found them last week and thought it would be a nice gesture to have them framed for her. So I did it.

I surprised her with them on Saturday afternoon, and they were beautifully framed. What a good deed I had done. She was happy. I was happy. But happiness doesn’t last long. Only about 5 minutes, actually.

As I sat across from my glowing wife who was admiring one of the frames, I took off the outer plastic of the other frame and threw it on the ground. As I admired the frame, held it up for my wife, and basked in the glory of the trivial things in life which make us happy, I decided I wanted to show off my thoughtful gesture to my daughter who was in her bedroom behind me. I had this smug look on my face as if to say, “See, you want to find a man someday like me.”

As my face was giving off prideful vibes, I stood to take the frame to my daughter’s room when my first step hit that little plastic covering which I had thrown on the ground. Remember that?

It didn’t seem important at the time. But we have hard tile floors. And it was a slick plastic. Think of the slickest ice patch you have ever lost your footing on. Compared to my piece of plastic on tile, the ice patch in your mind might as well be a field of turf. (and you’re wearing cleats.)

In a less than a split second my leg went up like a Charlie Brown football kick and I went crashing to the ground – or hard tile – like, well, like Charlie Brown does when he kicks a football.

That plastic body slammed me. My head crashed against the chair, my hip collided with the tile, my wrist bent back severely, and the two picture frames fell straight to the floor, one of them smashing in a thousand pieces.

I was lucky, actually, to not have broken anything. How my hip is still in place I have no idea?

I had that darn frame in the house for less than 5 minutes and I smashed it to pieces and ended up having to walk around like an old man with a bad hip and a hurt wrist.

All of this just to do a little good.

Well, that’s it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I’m through with good deeds that only pay with the kind of payback that my body can no longer handle. Christmas and all birthday celebrations have hereby been canceled. I just can’t afford to be my awesome, nice self anymore.

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