“Not currently accepting review requests” … Oh, yeah? I Retaliate!

I don’t suppose I’m alone in this. Over the past few years, it’s become more and more difficult to find book reviewers for my novels because of those dreaded words: “not currently accepting review requests because my TBR list is too long!”

I wholly blame other writers who continue to blatantly write, thwarting all my plans for readership domination. No matter, because I decided to start my own “not currently accepting” list. It’s quite extensive. Actually, there’s ten things I’m currently not accepting, so right back at you busy book reviewers.

Top Ten Things Mark W Sasse is Currently Not Accepting.

  1. I’m not accepting any book reviewers to my house for my homemade gourmet pizza. It might be, after all, in violation of FTC rules.
  2. I’m not accepting any illogical political thoughts to enter my ear canal. So would everyone please SHUT UP!
  3. I’m not accepting any homework from my students. Please find another teacher.
  4. I’m not accepting any bad reviews, so find another author to sabotage.
  5. I’m not accepting any bland food, so only flavor need to apply.
  6. I’m not accepting any more spam emails or Nigerian 419 scams. I’ve already given at the office.
  7. I’m not accepting bills from anyone any longer. The checks are in the mail.
  8. I’m not accepting inane TV shows and movies that make the producer ask, “Oh yeah, do you think you could do better?” to which I reply “In my sleep.”
  9. I’m not accepting weather above 85 degrees or below 75 degrees.
  10. I’m not accepting the fact that book reviewers are not accepting review requests at this time, because, hey, I have a new book. It’s pretty cool. You should read it and give it lots of stars because … well … I hope it’s good.

I AM ACCEPTING requests from book reviewers to review my new novel. So please let me know, and I’ll send you a copy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

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