Opening Tonight in Brooklyn: Safe Spaces

I’m thrilled to have my play “Safe Spaces” open tonight in Brooklyn at the Gallery Players Theatre as part of their Black Box New Play Festival. Unfortunately, I’m sitting 12,000 miles away and will miss the show which opens tonight and runs through Sunday afternoon – 4 shows!

So if you are in the NYC area, please do stop by and enjoy this and other plays this weekend. “Safe Spaces” is a satirical look at cultural appropriation with this premise: Madison, editor of the university campus newspaper, has been put into a safe space, isolated from the rest of campus, for an op-ed he published. He’s joined by Garner who was brought their after serving a pulled pork sandwich with the wrong cultural overtones. Madison and Garner deal with Dawes who shows up to give them insight into how they can be re-aligned and released from their safe space if they do as she says. Mayhem and ridiculous banter follows as Madison tries to understand the logic behind the safe space. Good luck!

I had a blast writing this play and I hope the audience will enjoy this world-premiere rendition of it.

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The Most Loathsome Column of the Day

An editor at the Washingtonian stated that the phrase “start a family” was “the most loathsome phrase of the day” because it degrades those couples who many not be able to have children.

So I’ve nominated that fine piece of journalism as the most loathsome column of the day.

But in keeping with the spirit of Washingtonian Wisdom, I tried to come up with my own list of loathsome phrases which we should also purge from our vocabulary. Here they are:

Start a rally. A baseball phrase meaning trying to score runs and come back from a deficit. I think we should strike this phrase from our vocabulary since it degenerates those baseball teams who never have rallies and are perennial losers.

Start me up. The Rolling Stones phrase might offend people who can’t be started. Or don’t want to start.

Start a revolution. Could make fun of those living under authoritarian regimes who don’t know how to start their own revolution.

Start your engines. This could hurt both those who have faulty engines or the poor who can’t even afford any engine.

Start with me. A peculiar Christian phrase which tells God to make changes in the world by first making changes with me. This might offend those who have no me-ness. Or who are dead.

Start fresh. This might offend those who appreciate stale living. It also ignores past mistakes, so that’s not good.

Start in safe mode. This would be an affront to techies who want to by-pass safe mode and just let their computer crash. It’s their right, after all.

Start high school. This would be particularly offensive to those who fail 8th grade.

Start recording. Please, what about those who don’t want a record of a particular event. Or those who have no recording devices?

Start of something new. This is simply a way to discriminate against those who love the old. Stop pushing, people!

Start to finish. From start to finish, this was a waste of time. Thanks, Washingtonian. Here’s the original loathsome column if you dare to read.

Loathsome Phrase of the Day: “Start a Family”