“Not currently accepting review requests” … Oh, yeah? I Retaliate!

I don’t suppose I’m alone in this. Over the past few years, it’s become more and more difficult to find book reviewers for my novels because of those dreaded words: “not currently accepting review requests because my TBR list is too long!”

I wholly blame other writers who continue to blatantly write, thwarting all my plans for readership domination. No matter, because I decided to start my own “not currently accepting” list. It’s quite extensive. Actually, there’s ten things I’m currently not accepting, so right back at you busy book reviewers.

Top Ten Things Mark W Sasse is Currently Not Accepting.

  1. I’m not accepting any book reviewers to my house for my homemade gourmet pizza. It might be, after all, in violation of FTC rules.
  2. I’m not accepting any illogical political thoughts to enter my ear canal. So would everyone please SHUT UP!
  3. I’m not accepting any homework from my students. Please find another teacher.
  4. I’m not accepting any bad reviews, so find another author to sabotage.
  5. I’m not accepting any bland food, so only flavor need to apply.
  6. I’m not accepting any more spam emails or Nigerian 419 scams. I’ve already given at the office.
  7. I’m not accepting bills from anyone any longer. The checks are in the mail.
  8. I’m not accepting inane TV shows and movies that make the producer ask, “Oh yeah, do you think you could do better?” to which I reply “In my sleep.”
  9. I’m not accepting weather above 85 degrees or below 75 degrees.
  10. I’m not accepting the fact that book reviewers are not accepting review requests at this time, because, hey, I have a new book. It’s pretty cool. You should read it and give it lots of stars because … well … I hope it’s good.

I AM ACCEPTING requests from book reviewers to review my new novel. So please let me know, and I’ll send you a copy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Forget All Those Author Duties. I Just Want to Create

I am still in need of a publicist, secretary, and experienced book promoter who wants nothing in return from life except to see my books succeed.

I’ve actually gotten very few job applications to fill this vacancy.

The only one I received was from a less-than-enthusiastic candidate who is more interested in turning a clever phrase and creating new characters than putting in the long hours and dirty work necessary for an indie author to succeed. Oh, and curiously enough, this sole applicant has the same exact name as me.

Strange, isn’t it?

So yes, here I was on a free Saturday. I have so many author duties to accomplish. There is so many promotional ideas to be explored. I have giveaways to set up. Networks to be connected. Book reviewers to be contacted, but no, what did I do? I defied every single one of those “duties” and I did what a writer is supposed to do. I wrote a new play.

That’s right. I forsook promotion in order to promote my creativity because that’s what I love to do. So I spent the afternoon writing a gritty drama entitled “Alone in a Bar.” It’s a power-keg of a drama ready to explode. It’s about 10 minutes long, so I’ll probably enter it in some competitions at some point to see what I got.

So please forgive me for not getting anything done except for creativity. Isn’t that enough? Who needs to sell books anyways? I just want to write. I’ll get back to promoting another day. Creativity is always my priority over the other mundane tasks of being an author. Yes, I’ll get back to them another day, just not now. Not today when there’s a distraught man with a gun sitting at a bar with a bottle of whisky in front of him. I needed to see what he was going to do.

And so I did.

Indie Authors: It’s all about the little victories

Indie authors don’t get excited about huge launch parties or six figure book deals.

Indie authors don’t get excited about a hard-working agent that believes in them and shops their books to all the big publishers.

Indie authors don’t get excited about reviews from the New York Times.

Indie authors don’t get excited about the Oprah Book Club or Bill O’Reilly’s tip of the day.

No, for indie authors it’s the little things that matter most.

Remember the first review you got from someone you didn’t know? When The Kindle Book Review published their review for Beauty Rising, I was floating on air for a day thinking I had arrived.

Remember when the 10th person on Goodreads added your book to their shelf?

Remember when you got your first email from a stranger telling you how much they enjoyed your book?

I have even been fortunate enough to have been on the receiving end of a piece of fan art. I mean, how cool is that?

Life as an indie author is hard. No doubt. That’s why the little victories mean so much. This week I had a little victory of sorts. My first novel, Beauty Rising, which was released 15 months ago just received its 100th rating on Goodreads. I’m thrilled.

No matter how many books I sell the rest of my life, be it two or two million, I vow to always remember the little things which are, in fact, not little at all.

I will always appreciate any reader who takes their precious time to read my book when there are millions of other choices. I wall always be grateful for someone who goes out of their way to write a review. I’m sure there are better things to do with their time. It’ means so much!

I will cherish the little victories because it is moments like this that make life worth it all.

You can have your six figure book deal. I’m thrilled to have my 100th rating on Goodreads.